All this to say that our boys are so very lucky they are cute.
Last Sunday, Drew threw his brother out the window (fortunately, it was the first story window and Owen only tumbled three feet or so and escaped this incident without injury with his only concern being the well-being of the transformers he was holding during the fall). I am told (by Drew) that Owen was standing in his way so he didn't really have much of a choice other than to remove Owen from this space by unlocking the window himself (didn't know he knew how to do this) and pushing Owen through our bay window in the family room and knocking out the window screen in the process. Of course, like a good mother, I was upstairs doing my hair and missed the entire incident. As I was flat-ironing my hair, I had a moment of maternal intuition that I needed to check on the boys. We were getting ready for church and the boys had just finished their bath. They were dressed and waiting downstairs as Dan and I finished getting ready. I followed my intuition to check on the boys even though I was just with them moments ago. I walked downstairs to find immediate silence followed by Owen's loud crying (the kind of crying that can be distinguished from Owen's whining to actual pain and/or fear). I fearfully grabbed my robe (because of course, I was not yet fully dressed) and ran downstairs with nervous anticipation that we were about to experience our first broken bones but instead found Owen crying standing outside on the patio covered in wet grass. "Mommy, Drew throwed me out the window . . . can you please find Optimus Prime's leg?"
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
I breathed a huge sigh of relief that Owen was okay. In the past week, I have spent many hours revisiting this situation in my mind; most specifically, focusing on the thought process for Drew that lead him to believe that this was acceptable behavior. It is easy to laugh it off now, but I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't troubled by the fundamental root cause of Drew's actions and the best way to "parent" this situation. I needed some insurance that Drew understood what had just transpired - that he absorbed the severity of what could have happened - and that he wouldn't dare be tempted to make the same mistake again.
Once I was assured that Owen was okay, I went looking for Drew. Of course, he was hiding. He knew that he was in for trouble. I called out Drew's name several times and after a minute or so, I noticed the door of our coat closet was opening just slightly enough for a nervous five-year's old head to peer out to see if the coast was clear. No such luck; mommy was standing right there and he knew from the look in my eyes that he was so totally busted. I was so angry with Drew. I wanted so desperately to demonstrate an incredible level of patience to resolve the issue peacefully and deliver some excellent speech about safety that surely he would absorb and commit to this long-term memory, but I just couldn't. I was just too mad and I let my emotions prevent me from being the mom I wanted to be in this situation. Aside from being shook up from what just happened, his actions surprised me. In my mind (self admittedly) Drew was exceptional. I thought the world of this five-year-old. I found Drew to be smart, inquisitive, perceptive and full of common sense and although I knew that he could be troublesome, I suppose in my mind, I always thought that he had the capacity to turn it off if he wanted to. He was a responsible kid not capable of what had just transpired. How could I have missed the boat? Am I just totally blind? It was a sucker-punch to my fundamental beliefs about my kids that caused me to question just about everything.
The weekend prior, we were woken up on a Sunday morning to the shrieking sound of our ADT alarm going off. The alarm is programmed to sound immediately if any door or window in our house is opened. I glanced at the clock showing 7:30am and turned to look at Dan expecting him to join me in my confused state but he he was lost in a peaceful state of snoring. Since the sun was already up, I suppose that mentally I had reduced the risk of someone breaking into our house to minimal and fled downstairs and hurriedly punched in our code before the police and fire department showed up. Dan joined me downstairs and immediately recognized the culprit. There was our five-year-old Drew hiding under the kitchen table. Pajamas were off and he was fully dressed (including his shoes which are kept high on a shelf in the laundry room).
"Drew, what are you doing?"
"I'm going outside to ride my scooter."
"Drew, buddy, you know you have to have a grown-up with you to go outside."
"Well, you all were sleeping."
Well, the ADT system defined its worth that day. It not only keeps bad guys out, but keeps our kids in. I question what Drew would have done had he not been stopped by the shrieking sound of our alarm. Without any familiar grown-ups present, would he have wondered around the block or stayed in our yard? Would he have been okay or gotten scared? The present risks we are faced with as our little ones demonstrate curiosity and explore the world around them is daunting. A serious amount of pressure, to say the least. And the fact that this small task of parenting comes with no instruction manual is a concept I'll never fully understand.
Yesterday, Dan played in a golf tournament which left me with some great one-on-one time with my boys for the bulk of the day. I certainly love family togetherness, but I greatly enjoy getting to spend individual time with my boys and listen to what is on their mind without any distractions. Having been shaken up by Drew's behavior in the past two weeks, I was anxious to "get back to normal" and really enjoy some quality time with my Drew-bear.
Owen's birthday has just recently passed and this had created an incredible amount of temptation for Drew to resist plowing into Owen's unopened gifts. He politely asked Owen if he could open his new box of legos and of course, sweet Owen obliged. We agreed to work together on putting together these legos.
And in as little 5 minutes of commencing our project, things were "back to normal." Drew immediately impressed me with his focus, determination and analytical mind. He claimed that he needed me for this project, but other than to hold open the book of instructions and occasionally, make a few minor observations, Drew tackled this task like no-one's business. His pieces were well organized and he immediately processed what needed to be done simply by glancing at the images within the instructions. And he did this is no time at all. My pride in my little boy swelled. I was so incredibly proud of him.
The image below is just one such example of how Drew amazes me. This morning, Evan was determined to drink his milk from a crazy straw even though the cup that he was drinking from clearly was not designed for it. Enter Drew bear with his innovative mind to help his little brother out. Problem solved.
Thank you God for blessing me with these boys.
